What makes a man sexy? Part II

So, after last week’s post on man sexiness, I was thinking about the topic some more as I was watching Doctor Who (colour me geeky, I can handle it!) and I decided that this week would be all about Rory.

For those who don’t know Doctor Who, Rory is an average bloke, who gets caught up in the time-travelling, trouble-seeking shenanigans of the Doctor, because he is in love with (and later, married to) the Doctor’s friend and companion, Amy Pond.

Rory’s normal-ness is important here, because last week, although I was talking about smiles and focus and such, I did illustrate the post with pics of David Tennant and John Barrowman, which some might have thought was cheating (I’m looking at you, Kez), as they are easy on the eye.  Arthur Darvill (who plays Rory) isn’t bad-looking, but nor is he stunningly handsome (sorry, Arthur, but the whole point of Rory is that he is normal).

But enough of the ordinary: onto the sexiness!

Bravery is sexy.

I’m not talking here about foolhardy risk-taking to look good or even bravery on a grand scale, like dying for a cause.  I’m talking about when someone puts themselves between the threat and other people.  It’s embodied on a daily basis by people in professions like firefighting and search and rescue (which is why those people are such popular romance heroes, I’m sure).  But it’s also in the person who goes back for the baby in the burning building, who stands up to the bully, whether in a playground or on a sporting field, or who speaks up for the oppressed, even when – especially when – it will bring down on them the ridicule of their peers.

It’s when Rory, faced with an alien vampire thing with a sword and a bad attitude, put himself between it and the woman he loves, even though he was armed with nothing more than a broom.

And it isn’t about whether the person needs protecting, necessarily, and it isn’t a sexist thing.  If someone threatened my family, I’d be there with teeth bared, fighting for the front spot and I admire women who step up just as much as men.  But since I’m straight, when  a man does it, it’s also sexy!  When a man puts himself on the line to protect me?  Well guys, just saying… phwaor!

Moving on…

Commitment and faithfulness are sexy.

Amy, Rory’s girlfriend, gives him no end of trouble.  But when she got locked in a box for two thousand years and he had the option of leaving to do other things, or staying to keep watch over her, he chose to stay.  He was part robot at the time (don’t ask), which made it possible, but his heart and mind were human and this was a decision made from love.  He asked if she would be safer if he stayed and when told she would be, he chose to stay.  For two thousand years.

When I did a marriage preparation course, a long time ago now, the presenters said that love is a decision.  They didn’t mean romantic love, or falling in love, they meant long-term, lasting love.  That kind of love is expressed in the statement ‘I choose you’.  They said that marriage is about you saying to your partner, I choose you, today, and I am committed to continuing to choose you, each day from now on.  I know that some days it won’t be easy and that other choices might look better.  But I choose you.

Out of that kind of commitment, mighty partnerships and great love grows.  And a man willing to say that, mean it and follow through, is sexier than a John Barrowman and Hugh Jackman sandwich.

Which leads me to…

Kindness and compassion are sexy.

Rory is a nurse and he embodies all the caring attributes that are normally associated with that profession.  His instinct is to side with the underdog, the hard-done-by, the oppressed and the hurt, even when others might see them as the enemy.  When someone is injured, he doesn’t care about species (it is sci-fi, bear with me) or whether they were fighting him a minute ago, his instinct is to care for them.

This sometimes frustrates his companions, mystifies the more war-like among them and occasionally gets him into big trouble.  But a man who cares more for what is right than what is practical is a man of principle, a man you can be proud of, and that, to me, is dead sexy.

Now, you may say that Rory is a fictional character, which is true.  But he was written by men, is played by a man and is directed by men, which argues that there are plenty of men who think that these attributes are worth having.

Rory is everybloke at his best. 

I think that’s a hell of a sexy thing.  What do you think?

Happy Friday


25 thoughts on “What makes a man sexy? Part II

  1. I love this. Rory’s commitment, what he had to overcome, all for the woman he loved (who didn’t always act in the most deserving way) is one of my favorite parts of the 11th doctor phase of Dr Who. He’s totally the guy you might not give a second thought on first meet, but after a while he completely steals your heart.

  2. Did someone say Dr Who?

    Great post Imelda.

    When Rory first came into existence he was the comic foil (as if Matt Smith needed comic foiling!) and they intentionally portrayed him as bumbling and rather poorly treated by egocentric Amy. I’d be so interested to know if this evolution of Rory was always on their horizon and they were just easing us in gradually or whether they responded to viewer feedback or maybe to the traits that the actor brought out himself.

    I do remember really not liking Amy very much until Rory’s existence was undone (SPOILERS, KIDS!!) and so he disappeared entirely from her consciousness and she was *so* sad all the time but didin’t know why. Up until then she pretty much didn’t deserve him.

    So you’re right. He’s not sexy or even charismatic (until you put him in a Centurion’s outfit *cough*) but it’s the traits that are compelling. It’s what’s inside that’s sexy regardless of whether what’s outside is hot.

    I’m enjoying the evolution of romance away from the classic chiselled powerful heroes to the more ordinary/geeky heroes, but regardless the best part of the romantic journey is getting beyond the physical to find those sexy inner traits.

    • Hi Nikki, thanks for commenting! You’re right, Amy was horrible to poor Rory at the beginning, but I like the arc they’ve taken her on too, where she has realised just what she was taking for granted and how much he meant to her.

      I think there will always be a place for a chiselled jaw (and/or a centurion’s uniform *coughing right along with you*) in romance – they are mostly fantasies, after all. But I much prefer characters who I could imagine loving in real life and Rory ticks those boxes. It is interesting to wonder how much AD contributed to the development of the character. You certainly have to give him credit for embodying his ‘character’ so well.

    • He’s a very endearing character. Do you think it’s partly because he loves her and is loyal even when she doesn’t really deserve it? I’m sure that’s part of the appeal to women who know they aren’t perfect!

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  4. I initially thought Rory would be the new Mickey. I didn’t think much of his character at all, not that it was bad I just thought he was trivial and wouldn’t really end up mattering. (I know the Doctor would be disappointed with me) But when he ‘died’ the first time I cried. And he’s now up there with Rose in terms of being one of my favorite companions. He might have even surpassed her to be honest..

    • Hi Amber, thanks for reading and commenting. I love how you think the Doctor would be disappointed – so glad it’s not just me who thinks like that! 😉
      I think Rory has really grown into this role. I think he is a bit like Donna, actually. Because his relationship with the Doctor is not complicated by sexual attraction, he provides an every-person insight into what it must be really like to engage in the extraordinary life that is travelling in the Tardis.
      Can I say how much I love finding all these other Dr Who fans to chat with? It wasn’t what I intended when I started these posts, but it is a delightful side effect! It’s lovely to ‘meet’ you!

    • Thanks so much for stopping by, Riya! I loved that ‘poster’ so much when I saw it I had to lift it. Incidentally, if you ever want to know where pictures come from, you can just click on the picture. I always put a link in. I had heaps to chose from: There’s lots of Rory love on the ‘net!

    • Lisa, you surprise me – you have friends who watch Dr Who and they haven’t lashed you down and MADE you watch it? 😉 Rory is indeed, very cool, but while his character traits are exaggerated by the sci-fi setting, you can also find them in regular blokes. And when you do, yes, it IS sexy as hell!

      Thanks so much for reading and commenting. There will be at least one more episode in this series, next Friday, if you want to come back!

  5. Great post. And I like how you’ve talked about the importance of commitment and character traits as being sexy. While the initial attraction to a man will often be the smile or that something in their eyes, it’s when you get to know him that you truly see the sexiness. Gotta love ’em.
    Thanks for this interesting topic. (And I like Dr Who too, though don’t follow it much these days – bh not into it)

    • Thanks Sue, you’re very kind. I have found writing this interesting – it’s quite illuminating to me about what I find attractive! I didn’t start out to make it a Who-fest, but I am watching a nightly marathon at the moment, so I guess it’s what is at the front of my mind when I’m looking for examples. Thanks for taking the time to comment!

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