So, after last week’s post on man sexiness, I was thinking about the topic some more as I was watching Doctor Who (colour me geeky, I can handle it!) and I decided that this week would be all about Rory.
For those who don’t know Doctor Who, Rory is an average bloke, who gets caught up in the time-travelling, trouble-seeking shenanigans of the Doctor, because he is in love with (and later, married to) the Doctor’s friend and companion, Amy Pond.
Rory’s normal-ness is important here, because last week, although I was talking about smiles and focus and such, I did illustrate the post with pics of David Tennant and John Barrowman, which some might have thought was cheating (I’m looking at you, Kez), as they are easy on the eye. Arthur Darvill (who plays Rory) isn’t bad-looking, but nor is he stunningly handsome (sorry, Arthur, but the whole point of Rory is that he is normal).
But enough of the ordinary: onto the sexiness!
Bravery is sexy.
I’m not talking here about foolhardy risk-taking to look good or even bravery on a grand scale, like dying for a cause. I’m talking about when someone puts themselves between the threat and other people. It’s embodied on a daily basis by people in professions like firefighting and search and rescue (which is why those people are such popular romance heroes, I’m sure). But it’s also in the person who goes back for the baby in the burning building, who stands up to the bully, whether in a playground or on a sporting field, or who speaks up for the oppressed, even when – especially when – it will bring down on them the ridicule of their peers.
It’s when Rory, faced with an alien vampire thing with a sword and a bad attitude, put himself between it and the woman he loves, even though he was armed with nothing more than a broom.
And it isn’t about whether the person needs protecting, necessarily, and it isn’t a sexist thing. If someone threatened my family, I’d be there with teeth bared, fighting for the front spot and I admire women who step up just as much as men. But since I’m straight, when a man does it, it’s also sexy! When a man puts himself on the line to protect me? Well guys, just saying… phwaor!
Commitment and faithfulness are sexy.
Amy, Rory’s girlfriend, gives him no end of trouble. But when she got locked in a box for two thousand years and he had the option of leaving to do other things, or staying to keep watch over her, he chose to stay. He was part robot at the time (don’t ask), which made it possible, but his heart and mind were human and this was a decision made from love. He asked if she would be safer if he stayed and when told she would be, he chose to stay. For two thousand years.
When I did a marriage preparation course, a long time ago now, the presenters said that love is a decision. They didn’t mean romantic love, or falling in love, they meant long-term, lasting love. That kind of love is expressed in the statement ‘I choose you’. They said that marriage is about you saying to your partner, I choose you, today, and I am committed to continuing to choose you, each day from now on. I know that some days it won’t be easy and that other choices might look better. But I choose you.
Out of that kind of commitment, mighty partnerships and great love grows. And a man willing to say that, mean it and follow through, is sexier than a John Barrowman and Hugh Jackman sandwich.
Which leads me to…
Kindness and compassion are sexy.
Rory is a nurse and he embodies all the caring attributes that are normally associated with that profession. His instinct is to side with the underdog, the hard-done-by, the oppressed and the hurt, even when others might see them as the enemy. When someone is injured, he doesn’t care about species (it is sci-fi, bear with me) or whether they were fighting him a minute ago, his instinct is to care for them.
This sometimes frustrates his companions, mystifies the more war-like among them and occasionally gets him into big trouble. But a man who cares more for what is right than what is practical is a man of principle, a man you can be proud of, and that, to me, is dead sexy.
Now, you may say that Rory is a fictional character, which is true. But he was written by men, is played by a man and is directed by men, which argues that there are plenty of men who think that these attributes are worth having.
Rory is everybloke at his best.
I think that’s a hell of a sexy thing. What do you think?