So, a few weeks ago, I started talking about what I think makes a man sexy. To begin with, it was all about the smile.
Then we had the second part, where I told how bravery, commitment and kindness do it for me.
The in the third part, I confessed my predilection for smart, funny and talented gents (not necessarily all at once).
Then there was a fourth one, which was silly, but full of coaty goodness.
Now, due to public demand (one person, I think, but don’t burst my bubble) we will have more coats, but also some slightly more serious analysis of the sexiness of the dudes among us. (I think it’s serious. Don’t judge me.)
To illustrate, I will call upon Mr Darcy:
All of these lads rock an excellent coat, but that is not why I am including them in the sexy list today. (Incidentally, thank you Rolling Stone for finally providing me with some pics of Angel in his trademark coat. Pics below, clink on the pic for links.)
These characters are all strong, proud and, in the case of the vampires, capable of being very, very bad. As in evil bad. This is not what makes them sexy – at least not for me.
Nor is the fact that they all fell for a strong woman, who demanded a certain standard of behaviour from them to even be around her, much less with her. (Although, if their women weren’t strong, I would not have been interested in the story. God bless Jane Austen and Joss Whedon for giving us flawed, real, strong, women!)
I fell in love with these characters when they let themselves be vulnerable for love. Mr Darcy risks a lot going after Elizabeth. He risks ridicule from his peers, his own self-image and he runs a serious risk that she will throw his love back in his face. She has already done it, after all. When it was just lust and pride, she told him to shove it. Although they now know each other better, there is a good risk she’ll do it again.
But he goes after her anyway. He risks, he makes himself vulnerable for love. In all the productions of Pride and Prejudice I’ve seen it’s that moment, the moment when he’s not sure of his reception but he tries anyway, that Mr Darcy becomes adorable for me.
I won’t bore you with my Joss Whedon fangirly ravings, but just to explain, Buffy, the love interest of both Angel and Spike (pictured above) is a vampire Slayer. And they’re vampires. There’s a lot more to it than that, but that alone gives you some idea of what they risk in going after her. In some ways, they run many similar risks as Mr Darcy: the ridicule of their peers, their own self-hate, violent rejection. (Although Elizabeth is unlikely to stake Darcy. And no, I don’t want to see that mash-up.)
In a way, Spike is the more vulnerable and consequently, the more adorable (for me) of the two. Angel is Buffy’s big, fated love-that-cannot-be. Spike will always be second-best, a stop-gap for her and he knows it. But it doesn’t stop him loving her and it doesn’t stop him trying to prove it. This leads to some very dark places for all concerned, but in the end, it leads him to sacrificing his life to save her (and the world; that’s Joss for you). You can’t get more vulnerable than that.
So this is my sexy trait for the day: a man willing to be vulnerable for love.
What do you think? Does a man’s bravery in following his heart do it for you?
This is the end of this post, but because I promised the coat-fanciers more coats, here are some final Angel pictures…