What makes a man sexy?

Recently I was reading a blog post by the lovely Paula Roe, romance writer, on fellow romance writer’s Maggie Nash‘s blog about what is (and isn’t) sexy.

I commented and thought that was the end of it (famous last thoughts).  But then I got to thinking and thought it would make a good blog post.

Then I got to thinking some more and thought it would make a blog series – it seems I have a lot of ideas about attractiveness!  So, for what it’s worth, here’s my first set of musings on what makes a man attractive (at least, to me).

First up, I love a good smile.

As exhibits A and B, I give you David Tennant (pictured as himself, above) and John Barrowman (in his role as Captain Jack Harkness, of Dr Who and Torchwood fame, below).

Now, I know that these two guys are both physically attractive, as well as good smilers, but bear with me, because I put it to you that the smile is a vital part of the attractiveness.

Yes, it’s true that John Barrowman is almost ridiculously tall, dark and handsome; he’s a 30’s matinée idol out-of-time.  But while David Tennant is fairly tall, he’s also blonde and thin with sharp features.  Yet he convincingly played Cassanova and, as Doctor Who, drew legions of fangirls to the show for reasons quite apart from the tight writing and cool monsters.

When both of these guys smile, they really put the fun into it.  There is a gleeful, cheeky, love of life in their smiles that is infectious.  In the case of both the Dr Who and Captain Jack characters it’s often because they’re about to do something dangerous, reckless and (consequently) fun, and that cheerful recklessness is part of the appeal.  But I’ve seen both of them in other roles and the smile is the same.  And it’s just appealing without the recklessness.

It’s a smile that says I’m in this moment, fully, and milking it for all that it’s worth. It says I’m up for a laugh, I’m open to being amused and I want to have fun.  There is so much gloom in the world, lord knows we need a laugh and people willing to see the funny side are incredibly attractive.The flip side of this is that both of them also do intense seriousness really well.  They both have that ability to hold eye contact with the other character in a way that makes it seem that the other character is their only focus.  It makes sense, really.  If you are able and willing to be fully present to fun, you can also be fully invested in what is serious.  And that level of focussed attention? Sexy as hell.

I have no idea what either of these guys is like in real life, although, purely for research purposes, and in the interests of my readers, I would be very willing to find out.*  (Lads?  If you are reading, please take note!)

In the meantime (since the chances of them being among my blog readers is slim), I’ll class as sexy anyone with a wide smile, a capacity for enjoying life and a willingness to pay attention to me.

What about you?  What do you find sexy?

Happy Friday


*And yes, I know John Barrowman is gay.  And David Tennant is married (I think). This in no way affects my willingness to get to know them better.  Purely for research purposes, natch!

38 thoughts on “What makes a man sexy?

  1. I adore Tennant. And I think you are right – he doesn’t have the conventional features that women universally swoon over, but man, that smile! (Not to mention that accent.)

    And yes, he is married. (To the girl that played his “daughter” in Dr. Who, who is the real life daughter of an actor who formerly played Dr. Who. BAM.)

    If you enjoy these two guys, check YouTube for their CeeBeeBee readings. (They read children’s stories. Adorable.)

    • Oh yes, I had forgotten about the CeeBeeBee readings! and they like children! That’s definitely going in the next ‘sexy’ post. (The liking kids thing).

      Thanks for coming by and commenting! Always good to meet a fellow DT fan! Check out my post on Digital Theatre (previous Friday Favourite post) for a way to see him in Much Ado about Nothing.

        • Mine too! They’re great together in this. They seem to be great mates and it works so well for this play. It’s great value, too, given how many times I have already watched it…

  2. I could probably list of the obvious things that make a man sexy – most would focus on the physical – but Amber hit on the point I was going to mention.


    There are just some guys voices that make me sit up and shush everyone in the vicinity just to keep hearing it. Actors Vin Diesel, Sam Elliot & Tony Todd (played Worf’s brother & other Klingons in ST), singer Scotty McCreery, one of my past kindergarten students dad, and any bloke with a Scottish accent! 🙂

    Doesn’t matter about their physical looks, their voice just captivates me and I could listen to them for hours.

    I really enjoyed this post, Imelda, and I look forward to reading your series.

    • Thanks, Kylie, you are a sweetheart! I quite agree about the voice. My other half has the sexiest phone voice and it was a significant factor in our courtship. I’d add Alan Rickman to your list and heartily concur on the Scots accent! I’ll let you know when the next ‘sexy’ post is up!

  3. Listening. Really listening, and intelligent responses. I find that attractive in a man. And a nice smile certainly doesn’t go astray!

  4. “If you are able and willing to be fully present to fun, you can also be fully invested in what is serious. And that level of focussed attention? Sexy as hell.” Completely agree! Love that you articulated it this way. It’s so true. Someone who is really present in life is more alive. And that IS sexy as hell. No matter what mood 😉 But sense of humor is key. Gotta have that for the long-haul.

  5. I’d comment with something witty and useful, but I’m too busy sitting here staring at David Tennant and John Barrowman… 🙂
    **wipes drool off keyboard**

  6. From a bloke point of view I can’t see the David Tennant thing as he’s so in love with himself and I always find that off putting. Arrogance isn’t attractive. Personally I’ve always thought Nicolas Cage was a handsome chap and he’s a talented dude as well. From a male perspective I don’t find many celebrities attractive as I don’t really know them, but I have a crush on Nicola Roberts.

    • Aargh! Sorry Alex, somehow I missed this comment! Great to have a man’s point of view. I quite agree about arrogance not being attractive, but I guess I don’t see it in DT. Is it the characters, or the person you find arrogant? I don’t know much about him personally. I make a point not to find out much about actors that whose work I like, in case they disappoint me! I like Nic Cage, too. I thought he was gorgeous in Moonstruck, and that vulnerability is something else that will come up in this series, I’m sure!

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    • I agree, Amber! I do think he was a shade more on the manic, Jack Nicholson side of ‘in the moment’, though, with the way he played the Doctor, so maybe that’s why he isn’t as attractive to some people. Fully engaging smile, but ever so slightly scary, with it. I think his Doctor was a powerful portrayal but the anger was closer to the surface. Maybe, anyway! Making this up as I type! Thanks for reading and commenting!

      • Oh you’re making perfect sense. 🙂 I loved that about Nine, his intensity. When he gave the “Oncoming Storm” speech I actually felt like he’s a force to be reckoned with. But he had one of the more unstable personalities, and understandably so given his recent history with his people and the Daleks. He’d be incredibly angry one second then be bouncing off walls energetic and smiling and happy and then next thing you know be incredibly sad. But when he was smiling happily…well…


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  12. It may or may not surprise you to learn that a deep deep voice is what I find thrilling. Especially if owner of deep deep voice can sing and play musical instrument, I’m gone.

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