For those of you who were delicately culinarily nurtured, a turducken is a turkey which has been boned, then stuffed with a boned duck and a boned chicken.
No, I am not kidding.
There seems to be some difference of opinion as to whether the chicken is innermost, or the duck, and extra layers of stuffing between and inside the birds seem to be optional but really, the point is that this is one serious poultry fest.
Now, I know that many people probably think this is a little crass. Sure, it’s kind of excessive and I believe it is very popular in the southern United States, a part of the world legendary for feasting on a scale that would have impressed Henry the 8th.
But there is part of me that LOVES this. The very concept brings with it a kind of medieval magnificence that calls to the hostess in me. I love the idea of carving straight down through a shiny golden turkey to reveal layer upon layer of difference shades of meat, interleaved with as many different stuffings as there are layers.
And the cook in me is seized by the challenge of cooking such a behemoth. Ducks release a lot of fat during cooking, which is probably just as well, as this baby would have to be hard to cook all the way through without getting dry. It’s unclear whether it would have to be basted every half hour or only every five minutes, but either way, I’m up for the challenge. In fact, I would seriously consider installing a spit, pit pony and small boy for roasting and basting purposes, if that’s what it takes to do it properly.
And for that matter, if we’re going medieval, why stop at three birds? I’m sure there are others that could be wedged in there. What about a quail or two and maybe a goose? According to Wikipedia, (whence cometh the photo above) this is a tradition of excess that goes back to Roman times (and there were some lads who knew about excess). I’m sure I could find a recipe that includes more that three birds. (Probably with forcemeat stuffing made of ground larks’ tongues, if it were medieval, but we might leave that bit out.)
And I don’t even care if my guests are so frightened by the concept that they have to be three sheets to the wind to come at it. We’re going medieval here; beer will be provided on arrival, followed by rough reds aplenty. It’s okay. We won’t burn the house down. The spit boy and the pony will be sober.
Or maybe I’m getting carried away. Maybe I’ll just stick to a moderately sized Turducken, cooked in my regular oven and a nice glass of Chablis to wash it down.
See how restrained that sounds now? 😉
What about you? What excessive foodstuffs that you know you shouldn’t do you have a hankering for?
No, seriously. Tell me I’m not alone! 😉