What makes a man sexy? Part III

So what started as an off-hand reply to someone else’s blog post, has turned into a three-part extravaganza on my own little patch of the internet.

I promise I will stop after this one; not necessarily because I have run out of things to say, but because one really must draw a line somewhere and, well, people are beginning to talk…

Ahem. So, without further carry-on, here is my last set of manly characteristics that do it for me.


I’m sorry, not-so-bright guys.  I really am.  You may be lovely and I may even love you, but you are never going to get my motor running just by opening your mouth the way the smart boys do.

I offer as exhibit A, Professor Brian Cox, (pictured above) who has become famous recently for the BBC Two programme, Wonders of the Universe.  Now Brian, although young and in possession of all his hair and teeth, is not classically handsome.  But just let him get a head of steam up about black holes and timey-wimey stuff* and fan-girlies all over the world go weak at the knees.  (And no, it’s NOT just me, shut up.)

And you don’t have to be a physicist to make this cut.  I have two male friends who fall into this category because they are both incredibly well-read and well-informed.  When I talk to them, I feel my own mind expanding in the presence of their giant brains.  It’s a very seductive thing.  Neither of these guys would stop me in my tracks across a crowded room with their physical attributes (and I’m sure they could say the same for me, especially since one of them is gay) but their attractiveness has grown exponentially through the art of conversation.

It’s worth noting that all of these guys SHARE their knowledge, in a non-condescending way.  They are informed because they are passionate about their subject and because they are genuinely passionate, they talk to you in a way that tries to share that passion, rather than beating you over the head with your ignorance.  Being treated like a smart person who CAN understand and have worthwhile input, when given the information that the giant brain has at their disposal, is charming.

It’s about being interested in other people, as well as being so smart that you glow in the dark.  Smart people, men or women, who look down on people and make you feel stupid for not knowing as much as they do are so far beneath contempt that they don’t even register on the attractiveness scale.


People with extraordinary talent slay me.  I know this is about men, but frankly, when it comes to talent, I can fall in love with anyone.  I don’t think I’d even be fussy about species.**

When trying to think of people to use as illustrations, I don’t think it is any accident that almost all of the ones who sprang to mind were musicians – and the other one is the one who said, ‘If music be the food of love, play on: give me excess of it.” (Hover mouse over the pictures to see names and click for links.)  I love music and people who are good at it are high on my list of sexy beasts, no matter what they look like.***

If you are really good at what you do, that is a thing of beauty.  It helps when what you are good is something beautiful in itself, like music or poetry. It helps a lot.  But well-done anything can do it for me.  A neatly-executed electrical job pleases me.  A tidy plumber is a joy to the wet, belaboured householder who already has enough on her plate.  A beautiful table, a well-made cake, a perfect pot of tea.  Create these things for me and I will love you.

So I guess it isn’t just the raw talent, but the care and hours of practice to honour that talent that appeals to me.


Remember when Jessica Rabbit was asked in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, why a woman like her was married to the frankly, goofy, Roger?

Her answer was, “He makes me laugh.”

Right with you, Jessica.  The blokes pictured here are seriously funny, in fact make their living from it, but you don’t have to be that guy to get to me.  A keenly developed sense of the ridiculous, a penchant for The Goons, a willingness to be silly and most of all, to laugh, easily and often.  For me, these aren’t just preferred, but prerequisites in a partner.  (I’d stretch a point on the Goons.  I’d be happy to introduce you to them.)

So, to finish, I would like to share this little gem.  It’s a few years old now, but I couldn’t resist adding it.  It’s five maths guys, singing a funny song they wrote about love and maths.  Smart, funny, talented, musical.  It’s a perfect storm of gorgeous, for me!

Thanks for sticking with me through this wander through the non-science of sexual attraction.  I’l still love to hear if you have anything to add.

And to reward you for sticking it out, here’s something shared by one of my delightful commenters that isa slightly more usual approach to the subject. 😉 Don’t start looking at this if you have urgent stuff to do!


Happy Friday!  Imelda

* Yes, I know ‘timey-wimey’ stuff is not a real expression used by physicists, and I’m sure Prof Brian has never used it on his show, but I had to work a Dr Who reference in somewhere (apparently it’s a thing in these posts) and he’s British, so I’m sure he has a sense of humour about Doctor Who stuff.  Anyway, seriously, do you think he’s ever going to read this post?  Not even the interwebs have such magic!

**Aliens, people, I’m talking about aliens.  This is a family show!

*** I should note here that I include Susan Graham as an example of someone I could fall for even though she’s a woman, not someone I could fall for in spite of her looks.  She’s a glorious Amazon and a very Sexy Lady!

21 thoughts on “What makes a man sexy? Part III

  1. Loved the video clip…and I agree with all the qualities you described, especially the smart part. If he doesn’t captivate my intellect it’s a no go.

  2. yea stoopids make my eyes roll….too hard to concentrate on looks when eyes are rolling so hard so, don’t matter what he looked like after a while huh?? hehehe…

    • Snigger… Same goes for selfish or unpleasant. I knew a man once who was sooo beautiful that even I would stop to watch him play soccer in his tight shorts – and I think I have made clear that for me, it is not really about the looks. But he treated women like playthings and his Mum like a servant, so he stopped being pretty for me quite quickly.

  3. Thanks for a thoughtful and entertaining series of posts. Seriously, you don’t have to stop at three! And I think you have pinpointed key elements that all of us writers need to keep our focus on; it’s what’s inside that counts, not just the fab abs and handsome faces. Real women love a man with depth of character.
    I will also add, my current ms works on your music example – a man with a voice to melt my insides does it for me like you wouldn’t believe. Hope I get this one published too!

    • Thanks, Sue! I’m glad you said that, because I found my original notes today and I have actually left some things out… maybe I’ll do a Dame Nellie Melba and keep coming back! I love the sound of your musical man. A wonderful voice is a very seductive thing, it cannot be denied. Glad you have enjoyed it and thanks for saying so!

  4. I’m not the best geeza sort to ask about this as I’m as far removed from ladism and machoness as possible. However, I will offer my opinion all the same. Just try and stop me! Totally see it with the Prof as he’s smart, enthusiastic, and has a nice smile. As for talent, I think most women I know would fall at their knees for any man on a stage. I’d certainly date Mozart, but he’s still dead. I would, however, date Eddie Izzard . A lot of my female friends seem to base their dating on pure lust and whoever’s “well fit”, inevitably ending up with some narcissistic fiend, which equally inevitably leads to Facebook updates such as “All men are bastards!” when they get cheated on or dumped. Ryan Gosling seems to be every woman’s darling at the moment – just one scan over Pinterest is enough to prove that! He was good in Drive, though.

    I have a recent thing for Zooey Deschanel as she’s quirky. Quirky women are excellent. People should be more quirky, dammit!

    • Opinion always welcome, Alex! And anyway, that is my whole point! That the lad may do well at first glance, but for me, that sort of appeal has a very short half-life indeed. And I’m sure I’m not alone. Maybe I do need to continue this series…

      I am guessing that your female friends are somewhat younger than me. In the grip of hormones, we can all make mistakes. Sadly, unadvisable is not necessarily the same as undesirable.

      And incidentally, I know several women who would date Eddie Izzard in a heartbeat, dress or not. I think he’s unique!

      • I think it’s down to each person and whether you’re going to be intelligent about it – being in control of yourself and conducting yourself properly rather than going out for it like some demented ferret. My friends are around my age (27) and as one previously indicated they swoon at a pretty bloke/lady without any knowledge of the person and then begin hours/days/weeks of lusting. I know some girls who would probably kill to be with Brad Pitt. Now me and Mr. Pitt used to date (he’s a crap cook, so I dumped him – can’t even managed beans on toast). I simply have to know what someone’s like. Obviously this was easy as I’d seen his films. Here are some of my personality traits that annoyed Mr. Pitt:

        1 – Always blind drunk,
        2 – Bad chat up line used to “woo” him (“Yo darlin’! Get yo coat uve pulled!”),
        3 – Good cook (this was jealousy on his part),
        4 – Wild profanity (I admit I have a problem),
        5 – Prone to wall quaking snoring.

        I was only in it for the money.

        • Also, your blog clock lies. It’s not 11:33pm at all. It’s 2:33pm and I’m at work waiting for the end of my shift. What gives? I demand my money back!

          Hmmmm…. maybe you could use a 3D printer to construct the perfect person. Futuristic. There’s a novel in that. “The 3D Printer Man: Heart of Plastic But Yearns For Real Heart And Love Of A Good Woman”. Perhaps a bit catchier.

        • Oh, Mr Morris, you crack me up. Which, as I said, is a highly attractive trait. I quite agree, leaving the demented ferret behaviour out of it is very wise. But how to convince people? Sadly, it seems most people have to learn the hard way. We’re a bit dopey like that.

          As for you and Mr Pitt, I think that was always doomed to failure. Money is no compensation for poor culinary skills!

          • And my blog clock does not lie – although I admit, you made me check! Possibly we are not talking from quite the same part of the world? But what gives with a shift that ends in the wee hours? I did not realise the cartridge biz was so demanding!

            I think your 3D printer person idea has legs (see what I did there?). Not sure I’ve got a sci fi in me just at the moment, but maybe a short story…

            Thanks for commenting, Alex, it’s always fun.

            • Nonsense, commenting is never fun! But ja, I was being daft about the time. You’re in Australia. I believe? One is in Manchester, England. So there’s a bit of a time difference. I do work normal hours; 9 – 5:30pm. Normal hours for a normal person. Indeed.

              I had an Australian housemate once who was out here, she’s back in Melbourne now. Why do I mention this? As my brain deemed it necessary .

              • Because I am in Melbourne, and with the smallness of the world, it could be that your ex-housemate and I live next door to each other? You never know (although considering my current neighbours, I doubt it. So, you are domicilied in Manchester. Can I now say (cue scary music and voice distortion) ‘I know where you live’?

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